Whiteknuckle Worshiping: You're Being Watched...

white-knuck·le:  adj. Slang - Characterized by tense nervousness or apprehension.

wor·ship:  n. - The reverent love and devotion.

Whiteknuckle worship:  Reverent love and devotion hindered by tense nervousness or apprehension. 

What is your normal reaction when someone says, "Hold on tight, because this is going to be a wild ride"? If you're in a car, you would probably, for dear life, grab a hold of the "oh snap" handle tight enough for your knuckles to turn white, grit your teeth, and wait for it to be over.  I know I would.

Is it any different for those of us who attend church?  Many of us go to "hear God's Word", but want to exclude any possible rash act of worship. I used to be one of those, who, when I went to church, chose not to have any part of the praise and worship portion. 

Here was a typical Sunday morning for me, if I made it to church: 

I would either wait in the lobby, intentionally show up 15 minutes late, or, if I did attend the praise portion, I would completely, uncomfortably, and nervously whiteknuckle clench the seat in front of me.  I would hold on so tightly, as if I was afraid to be dragged away by the mere act of worship, never to be found again.  I literally would stand as still as possible, like a tree or statue, pretending I was invisible. My feet would be anchored or nailed to the ground, completely unmovable by even my own force.  My hands created a death grip on the seat in front of me.  My teeth clenched, seemingly to the point of breaking. I was nervously on the verge of a cold sweat, and looking straight ahead for a seemingly eternal 18 minute 3-4 song set.  ...And, if I did look around...  The only things I would move were my eyes; any eye contact would've sucked me into a violent vortex of discomfort. But then, it was a double edged sword... The band members seemed to be looking at me, even though they probably weren't.  I became an expert at staring off into space... 

In my own mind, if any part of me was to lose control during worship, I was risking my life, my egotistical credibility, and my supposed and arrogant "coolness".

...And risking life I was, but in an a conflicting, opposite way.  I thought by losing my composure to praise God, I was losing control or credibility.  I would excuse it by telling myself and others that I was just an "internal worshiper", worshiping Jesus with my mind, and that was all that mattered...  The truth of the matter was, in essence, I was lying to myself and others; I wasn't turning myself over to God because, transparently..., I was ashamed.

Reality:  "If anyone is ashamed of me and my message, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in his glory and in the glory of the Father and the holy angels."

-Jesus via Luke 9:26

Looking back. it was completely sad and unfair, too.  I would go to concerts, raise my fist in the air, yell until I lost my voice, and give the band my last energy drop for two hours, but I could not praise the God I claimed to love more than anything or anyone else.  I call this whiteknuckle worship and sooner or later, conviction came:  

God:  Hey Greg.

Me:  'Sup?

God:  You went to a(n) (insert band name here) concert, last night. There, you praised, yelled, sang along, raised your fist in the air, and basically drained every last ounce of energy for this band; you stand in church and refuse to move one bit out of fear of embarrassment. Where is that fire in My house?

Me:  But, it's different.

God:  How so?

Me:  *frown*

I had no answer.  Revelation 3:16 (luke-warmness) completely hit me.  I had to get over myself.  I was idolizing.  I had no reverence.  While I thought I was praising God, I was holding myself back from any inkling of adoration.

My conviction also reminded me that, according to the Bible, in Heaven there is constant praising of God.  Praising Him for 18-30 minutes, on Sunday, is only a minute taste of what is to come in eternity.  Now, I look at praising Jesus as "Heaven practice".

Going to church to only receive God's Word is the wrong way of looking at it. Culturally, as Americans who live in a self-gratifying culture, we miss the mark in realizing this:

God owes us nothing at all.  Jesus died for us.  He gave it all for us.  He isn't indebted to us; we are indebted to Him in every way. 

If we supposedly call ourselves "fully devoted followers of Christ", worship should be synonymous with our lifestyle.  We don't just worship, we should be the definition of worship.  Our worship's intensity can determine our influence's effectiveness.  What does that mean?  It means that, in some instances, worship doubles as discipleship.  We are being watched...  Think of it this way:  The hypothetical "unsaved" or on-the-fence soul next to us could see our worship and it could actually be the delicious recipe to lead them to Jesus.  On the other hand, if you're whiteknuckling the chair in front of you, this "church and Jesus thing" can look boring.  Who likes boring?

"They look bored...  If the 'devoted followers' don't enjoy it, why would I?" 

God, (the Creator of everything), in addition to all of the things He created, created fun, too! 

I think we should have fun in our worship!

Regardless of all of that, we should be oblivious to what is going on around us, who is on stage, or who is watching us, anyway; we praise to an Audience of One.  If I sing out of key or look utterly crazy or stupid, well... so be it. I am doing it as an offering to my Lord and Savior in an attempt to please Him and I am 'stupid-in-love' with Him.  The extra stuff (doubling as discipleship) is just a cool little added feature.

Where our heart is, there our praise is, also:

Sporting Events - C'mon, man... You're yelling at the TV.  They can't hear you.

Rock Concerts  - Whiplash hurts and it's wasted energy praising someone who just forgot where they were last night.  Have fun, but shouldn't we praise God harder than we praise the band. 

Gaming - Essentially, it is chasing 1's and 0's (binary code).  It isn't the end of the world if someone breaks your 37-kill killing spree and kills you with a single headshot.  Go respawn.  I promise you it'll be okay!

There is a bonus involved, too.  Singing praises to Jesus is inadvertently allowing us to mindlessly pray aloud.  It allows us to proclaim that Jesus is the Most High, the Greatest, and our Savior without even thinking about it.  (Man... I really want to hug the Inventor of this praise stuff... Oh yeah.... I will, one day, after this before-life business.)  Then, it is factual that it opens us up to the Word that we initially desire to receive.  It mentally and whole-heartedly puts us in a mode to absorb the next 35-45 minutes of the preached Word.

Praising our hearts out is a win-win situation and it is something to definitely get used to...  It is what goes on in Heaven... for eternity.

 

References:

The Bible...  All. Day. Long.